For Shirley
by greywitch99
Summary: SPOILERS! This fic is set after Shirley's death. It is mainly about how Lelouch is coping with it. Implied shirlulu. Oneshot. Red. A stain on his vision. Blood. A hand, starkly pale against the crimson pools. Her face smiling, with eyes closed, resting in death. That is all he sees.


**Author's Note:**

This is just a fic about the aftermath of Shirley's death(dang it Shirley! Why?! I liked you! I cried...)and how Lelouch is dealing with it. I like taking pieces from the show and building on them. I add some of what I think are character's thoughts, feelings and interpretations of events. I especially like doing this with characters like Lelouch or C.C. because they are complex and cryptic. Their actions and words can often be interpreted in various ways. So some of the writing belongs to the producers of Code Geass and I tried to integrate mine into theirs. I do not own anything. All the concepts, characters and whatnot belong to the creators.

I have the scene between Rolo and Lelouch right after Shirley's death and also another scene which I hadn't picked up on until now. Lelouch contacts C.C. and she can tell something's wrong. She asks him what happened and he confides and vents to her. They cut most of the confiding but I'm going to add it because I thought it would be interesting and valuable to understanding Lelouch's emotions. I also have Lelouch once he does begin to have his revenge. You might not find it interesting but oh well. Hopefully someone does.

* * *

Red. A stain on his vision. Blood. A hand, starkly pale against the crimson pools. Her face smiling, with eyes closed, resting in death. That is all he sees. _Dead? But how could this have happened? This wasn't supposed to happen. Shirley!_

Lelouch kneels there before her still form, numb to the world. He feels his insides growing colder by the moment.

He hears footsteps coming towards him from behind. "That was a close call big brother. Shirley regained her memory. She had a gun, and she was coming after you," Rolo says cheerily.

"I see. So you were the one who killed her?" Lelouch's voice is thick with emotion.

"Yes," Rolo responds proudly. "I did it for you. I have to eliminate your enemies."

Lelouch stands. "Rolo..."

"What big brother?"

He internally cringes at how Rolo addressed him. _So he was the one. Him. It's his fault... _Lelouch internally growls with anger at his _fake_ little brother. _He'll pay for this. I will avenge you, Shirley. I will erase his existence from the world! _ He showed no trace of his anger. As he had so many times before, he put on his perfectly sculpted mask and plastered a fake smile onto his face as he turned towards Rolo. "You handled it very well. If it weren't for you everybody would have known about my secret," he praises the boy.

"Exactly. And it isn't just your secret anymore brother."

"True. So shall we destroy the Geass Order now?" Lelouch asks casually. Rolo inhales sharply in surprise. "The Black Knights can wipe out the source of Geass once and for all."

"Big brother, we can't. There are still Geass users there."

"If we keep avoiding this we'll never win. Remember this is for our happiness. For both of us," he lies. _Well not for us. For Shirley. You really are slow Rolo. To think you can be manipulated so easily. All I have to do is the say the word and you'll do whatever I command. I don't even need Geass. _He laughs darkly in his mind.

"For both of us?" Rolo asks hesitantly.

"That's right. V.V. has begun to suspect you."

Rolo looks down hesitantly.

"Are you afraid of V.V.?"

"Well...he was the one that found me. Still, Lelouch, can I really believe in you?"

"Of course. We're the only brothers we have aren't we?" _That's right Rolo. I'm your brother aren't I? Heh, you really are just like a dog with a bone. And with this, I shall end you. For Shirley._

* * *

C.C. sits in her and Lelouch's quarters. The once impeccably clean room was in disarray in Lelouch's absence. Empty pizza boxes cover the table. Lelouch's chess pieces are strewn across the red and black checkered board and various articles of clothing and books littered the room.

"I can't believe Lelouch. Who does he think I am, leaving me behind here like I was a messenger girl or something," C.C. says indignantly while eating a slice of pizza.

_"Afraid that he'll lay his affections on some other girl instead?" _Marianne's teasing voice echoes through the witch's mind.

"What?! Hardly. I'm just really worried that he's forgotten our contract. Anyway, what are you planning to do? How long are you going to stay inside of-" The green-haired woman is cut off as the TV monitor beeps and Lelouch appears on the screen.

His expression is hard. "C.C."

"Hm?" She turns to the monitor and looks at him curiously.

"I have finally located where the Order is. Jeremiah and Rolo provided key information. We're going to send in the Zero Squad and wipe it out."

"Wipe it out?" She asks surprised. "Weren't you going to use it. They're not a military group. They just do research into Geass."

Lelouch interrupts her and angrily yells, "We'll crush them!"

C.C. is caught off guard at his sudden outburst. Her voice turns very serious as she immediately says "tell me what happened." _Something is wrong. Something is very, very wrong. Lelouch doesn't just change his plans so easily. Something must have happened to make him so angry. _

Lelouch scowls at C.C. "Shirley..." His breath catches in his throat. He looks down and takes a deep breath before coldly saying, "Shirley is dead."

C.C.'s golden eyes widened in surprise. _Dead? But how? Just a little while ago she was... It does explain why he's so upset though. _Her expression softened as he hesitantly look up at her waiting for her response. "When did this happen," she asks quietly.

"A day or two ago. While I was dealing with Jeremiah." The dark-haired young man pauses for a moment, frowning. He opens his mouth as if to speak but closes it again.

"You can tell me," C.C. gently urges. _So suddenly. The world has been so cold to him. I know how that feels. _

His mouth forms a thin line for a moment. He begins speaking. He sounds emotionless at first but slowly he lets his guard down and his expression softens, becoming sad and distant. "I saw her beforehand. She was upset but I didn't understand why. I didn't think anything was really wrong. It turns out her memory came back. I...I think I scared her at first. She just..recoiled. She winced and ran. When I came near she stood on a ledge and when I tried to reach for her and tell her to get down she accidently stepped off. I caught her but when she realized she screamed at me to let go of her. I didn't understand but...she knew who I was. That I was Zero. She knew what I had done to her father. She only calmed down after I refused to let her fall. I said I didn't want to lose anything anymore but...I lost her anyways didn't I?"

C.C. doesn't say anything. She just gazes at him, waiting for him to continue.

"I left her with Suzaku. I thought she would be safe. She must have run off or something. Coming after me. I was caught up in dealing with Jeremiah. I was running up the stairs and noticed an odd shape through the mist. Someone was lying on the ground. I went to see who it was and I saw it was Shirley. She was shot in the abdomen. She'd already lost so much blood... I was going to call for an ambulance but she stopped me. She _knew _ she was going to die. She told me her memories had returned and how afraid she was. She said...she didn't hate me for what I did to her father. And then she just told me she loved me. Over and _over_. I used my geass on her. I ordered her not to die. _Stupid_. It's not like you can stop someone from dying just by telling them not to. " Lelouch begins glaring at the ground again.

"It makes sense if you care about someone though. Doesn't it?" C.C. paused. "So, did you love her?"

His gaze shifts. This time glaring through the monitor at C.C. instead of the ground. "Love her?"

"She was your girlfriend wasn't she?" C.C. asks, feigning disinterest.

"Huh? Don't make me laugh. Just because Milly declared her as such during her stupid Cupid's Day festival hardly makes her my girlfriend."

"That doesn't mean you never her wanted her to be now does it?" C.C. feels a pang for some reason, but she doesn't understand why.

Lelouch leans his head against his hand."She was always my friend. That's how I always thought of her. I had never really considered it but in the end...I don't really know what I felt for her."

C.C. turns her head to the side and looks at the bookshelf to her left."I see."

Silence grows between them.

"Who killed her? Do you know?" C.C. looks at him carefully.

"It was Rolo. That _fake _little... " His voice grows cold again as he trails off. "I'm going to make him pay for what he did to her. I'll make him Shirley's funeral offering. I'll kill him, _for Shirley_." He sounds venomous.

"Lelouch..." She turns thoughtful and softly asks, "You're really going to kill him? For Shirley? She was always so gentle and kind. She cared about people. I hardly think Shirley would want Rolo kill-"

His head jerks up at her words. His gaze turns murderous and his voice hard. "Shut up! How would you know what she wanted? You didn't even know Shirley! You never gave a damn about her. You know nothing! You're not even human. You're just here because you're my accomplice! A _witch_ who wants something from me!" He spat the word witch, not using it as he normally would to gently joke or tease with her.

She flinches at his sudden change in demeanor. C.C. frowns. She had heard the words before. She's had people curse at her and tell her all the same things. She normally just brushed it off as if it were nothing but from him...the words stung. _So he's doing it again. He always does this when he's hurt. He gets angry and starts pushing people away. He isolates himself. Though I guess it really could just as easily be that he thinks that. He's right I suppose._

She sighs and breaks the silence between them. "Fine then. Do whatever will satisfy you. It doesn't really matter to me so long as you're still alive." _I'm not here to scold him. I'm not his mother or lover and I should stop acting like I'm actually his friend. I just want to die. That's all. Maybe I was wrong about him. _She takes a good look at him. His face shows no sign of regret at his words. _I guess you really don't care at all about me do you? Maybe he is ruthless enough to kill me and if not...well I can always make him take my place. I shouldn't have a problem with that, should I? I'm not _human _after all. But still... _"So you'll kill Rolo but what about the Order? You said you would crush them."

"That's right."

"But why? Like I said, they're just doing research. They didn't pull the trigger on Shirley."

"Even so they are the source of Geass. Geass is what started the chain of events which led to her death. First I...I killed her father. Mao read her mind using his Geass and exploited the situation. He manipulated her. She was too confused. She was going to end both my and her own life. I had no other choice but to erase her memory of me. Everything was fine until her memory came back and when it did she ran into Rolo and...he shot her."

"I'm not sure I see your point, Lelouch. Are you saying that you or Mao or Rolo caused her death?"

"It was because they had Geass that this all happened. You gave Mao Geass and it destroyed him. He went mad. That's why he did it. Rolo was chosen by the order and V.V. gave him Geass. He was an assassin because of his Geass. He was taught to eliminate any threats. Geass causes people to be sinful. It destroys lives. And it can happen again! The Order messes with it. They won't stop unless_ I_ stop them. So its them. It's their fault. The power of Geass which they unleashed caused Shirley's death. She was killed by Geass!"

"And so now you're going to wipe out the Order?" she asks. "As atonement to make sure the same thing doesn't happen to anyone else."

"You said that Geass was the power of the king. There can be only one king so I alone shall have it. I will erase Rolo. I'll erase Geass from all the others. Its power to make people sinful will be obliterated from this world. I owe that to Shirley. At the very least!"

C.C. listened to him calmly as he angrily vented his feelings. She stared off into the distance and she lazily looked upward. "And are you going to erase me as well?" _That would probably be useful. I would finally get to end this existence._

"You know I can't do that. You are eternally young, and immortal."_ Don't disappoint me Lelouch. Show me that you could do it. That you could really kill me. Besides if the order should pay then shouldn't I? I am the one who brought Geass into his life. I never intended to but I ended up hurting him too._

"V.V. is also eternally young and also immortal," the woman counters.

"I'll neutralize him and leave him helpless. And there's also the method Clovis used on you. Besides, I want to see if you're really loyal to me now. Since you were once the leader of the Order we're fighting."

C.C. sighed. "That was a long time ago and I was just window-dressing. I never had real power like V.V...still. We've been accomplices haven't we?"

"The order will be wiped out, which will test you," He glared at her stoically from the monitor.

She met his gaze confidently. "I'm prepared to see it through to the end."

"Good. Because there's one thing more. I want to know the details of our contract. What is it you want from all this?" He narrowed his violet eyes at her, as if by doing so he could see into her very soul.

"That has nothing to do with the mission. I have no intention of telling you that," She responds flippantly.

"Hm. Willful woman."

C.C.'s mouth curls into a small smile. "Yes that's right. That's exactly what makes me C.C."

"That's probably true. Now, I need you to make some preparations and relay some messages for me..."

"So you're going to do this now?"

"Yes. Geass must be obliterated. For Shirley."

* * *

The cave is cast in a violet hue. Lelouch watches over the battle from the Shinkiro. Below him are the many rectangular structures dotted with yellow lights. It resembles a city, but all its inhabitants are being slaughtered. Soon it would be nothing more than a relic lying out here in the desert. A curiosity of sorts. He can see the plumes of smoke and hear the explosions as his Zero Squad slowly, methodically, mercilessly picked off the Geass users and researchers. Everything was going exactly to plan. Just as he knew it would.

He is in control of all of this now. Another problem is being eliminated before his very eyes. All thanks to him. He feels powerful, and it is pleasing. Lelouch feels laughter rising in his throat. _Once he corners V.V. I'll simply detonate the bomb I planted in Rolo's knightmare. My funeral offering to Shirley will be Rolo's life. He will atone for what he did to her._ A devilish grin appears on Lelouch's face. _After all, this is all for Shirley._

* * *

It's a bit demented. I know. But this did happen after all and I'm not sure what we all expected of him. He is Lelouch and anger is one of his coping mechanisms. And it's also suckish and I'm sure and riddled with grammatical errors (I know where some are but I didn't fix them intentionally because I like how it sounds better this way) but meh. I'm not a particularly good writer. I don't really care. I just felt like writing it. It's my first attempt at writing fanfiction.

Any reviews would be welcome and I hope you enjoyed it.


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